In the past 8 months I've gone through another night of the dark soul. It has been a lot of shadow work and inner child, and unbecoming who I "thought" I was or wanted to be. For the longest time, I tried to push into being what others wanted me to be. I would push myself in areas to feel a sense of "love" and often felt like I didn't level up to what people thought I should be. As the past 8 months have gone by many things have happened.
In January my partner was laid off from his job of almost 6 years. It was expected just not at that time. We thought we had at least till June for him to have time to pick up something else. Maybe be moved to a different department. It didn't happen that way. He was suddenly laid off with no warning or sign of such. He came home and him and I had to quickly learn how to co-exist together. My spouse works mostly out of state, and we no longer travel with him full time. This was big expansion for myself and him.
In March my world just felt like everything I thought I believed or thought about myself was crashing. My who I am or what do I want was in my face.I found out around this time that I have PCOS and it explained a lot of what I was experiencing day to day. I had a large cyst rupture and it was the most painful experience I've ever had, including birthing children. I now understood why I was always tired, fatigued, and couldn't loose weight. I felt like a failure. For the past year I had tried to loose weight with tracking, working with a personal trainer, and holistic doctor. Nothing was working. I felt like my body hated me. She wanted me to fail. Obviously this is my mind just running a story. But... It was how I felt at that time.
It was another breaking point. I felt I just needed to give myself a break. A break from training, a break from tracking, a break from all things. So I did just that. I focused on my emotional needs and listened to my body. I started to move my body. Strech my body in directions and ways that felt good. I felt very in my body for the first time in a long time. I knew these were the codes I needed to learn in order to be in full embodiment. I started to explore what I liked and what I didnt like. Saying hell yes and hell no. When those things started to function, my inner child started to show up more and more.
My inner child wanted to be seen as I started to finally feel safe in my body again. This meant lots of sleep. I took lots of naps and slept a lot. I knew my body started to regulate again. It felt good. This also meant that I had to start to really assist my physical body and not just my mind. I knew this mean different eating than I'm use to, and listening more to my body. I knew my work was going to start to shift. It has.
Last part I learned was that everything that I was told throughout my entire life that I am too much, was exactly who I am meant to be. I'm here to push through limits. Push through normalities. Push through what society has thought dark feminine is. I thought my entire life that I was too much. I thought that if I could just be a little less, than I would be successful and loved. Truth is it never happened. When I stepped into my divine purpose and self, I attract the people that will love me for exactly me.
This is my introduction of really owning who I am. July 17th I hit my north node return through Aries. I am here for this new chapter. I am here to assist people through their trauams, shadows, and inner child work. I'm here to work in the depths with women and men to hold space of the darkness. I am here to assist humanity to love their shadow with zero expectations. Loving themselves through compassion. Loving themselves through connection with like minded women and men. Closure of understanding yourself through authencity. I am excited to offer new offerings such as; inner child packages, shadow work, coming back and deprogramming a religion trauama, and embodiment of the dark feminine. My site is in the works to be a complete overhaul. Its a different vibration. Its a different energy. I am changing into my divine self. I am excited your all here to experience with me. Most sessions are in a package because 1 session is okay here and there, but to experience true change, its consistency that makes life changes. These are my codes I'm here to share. If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out.
Michelle

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